i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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