Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed

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(347): View more from New York

We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"

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(812): View more from Indiana

No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.

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(707): View more from California

I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.

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(310): View more from California

He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger

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