i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
