I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
