On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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