I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
