we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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