she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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