covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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