His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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