Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
