I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
it glows. i had to have it.
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I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
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He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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