i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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