They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
