sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
