one two three fourrrrnication!
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
