dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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