I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
