I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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