His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
