How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
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He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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