So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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