every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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