I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
