so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize