We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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