stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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