So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I look better un-naked...
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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