He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
the raccoons are back...
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