So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My breasts were aching with rage.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
