I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
