Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He felt like a one man threesome
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
