I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
