OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
