You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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