Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
being pregnant is like rehab
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I can't turn off my feet"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
