last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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