i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
