you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
