Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
