I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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