my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
