Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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