dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
