Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
