so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
