i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
