Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
