Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
