idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
They have beer where we have blood.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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