Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I didn't notice because vodka
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
