He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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