Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We had sex on a dog bed..
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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