They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
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Be still, my beating vagina.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
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he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on