Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.