he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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