Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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