I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
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He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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