Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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