My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
