normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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