I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
