I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You have to summon your inner elephant
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize