i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
