their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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