Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
